Featured

Don’t let mental health be your brick wall.

Have you ever felt like mental health is causing you some sort of block in life? Almost as if there is some sort of physical wall in your place which stops you from making any progress in life? It’s like there’s a barrier which you have to break down before you can do much more with your life. I call this my brick wall.

The mental health brick wall

To help raise awareness, The Mental Health Champions at school have helped to create a version of this brick wall with positive messages to suggest that the wall can be a positive message and to not let is bog you down. The wall is covered in positive vibes created by students helping to indicate that there is more to life than negativity. There is little need to feel alone or afraid because there are others who are feeling similar.

Secondary school is one of the worst places with regards to mental health. Students are expected to be hard workers and are placed under an awful lot of stress which many of them find very difficult to cope with. There are expectations to be a certain kind of person which can be difficult for students of a young age. There is a lot of stress regarding exams and being a person which you are simply not.

It is crucial to ones mental health that they express and love themselves because once you can get to the stage of loving yourself for who you are, you are capable of doing anything. If you spend your teenage years believing and acting like you are something that you’re not, you will spend your whole life thinking you’re stupid because you’re different. Students should be encouraged to express themselves and be the different that they are instead of being treated like every other person in the school.

The competition winner!

The Mental Health Champions at my school are dedicated to ensuring that students are aware of the support that is around them. It is their job to help students to understand that they aren’t alone and that their differences are recognised and encouraged. While we understand that there is more behind mental health that meets the eye, we do our best to help people understand our purpose and the reasons we do what we do.

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep to put into words.

Featured

Opportunities

I will be leaving sixth form in roughly a year and when I do so, I will need to pray that I have enough opportunities open to me for me to make a decision with what I wish to do with my life. Luckily, at this moment in time, I have enough open to me to be able to make that decision now. However, I’m not in that boat right now. Even if I was, I’m not sure I would wish to make that decision. It’s not something that would be easy to think about nor would it be practical. However, in a year’s time, I might feel differently (well, I’m going to have to).

I will be leaving sixth form in roughly a year and when I do so, I will need to pray that I have enough opportunities open to me for me to make a decision with what I wish to do with my life. Luckily, at this moment in time, I have enough open to me to be able to make that decision now. However, I’m not in that boat right now. Even if I was, I’m not sure I would wish to make that decision. It’s not something that would be easy to think about nor would it be practical. However, in a year’s time, I might feel differently (well, I’m going to have to).

The next life stage

I have wanted to go to university for many years, it’s been a dream for me. I have considered myself to be a responsible and mature young person who very much looks forward to living on their own and having that little extra freedom in life. I have been looking forward to it for a while but now I’m not so sure.

I have done 2 university visits so far and I have been widely disappointed. I visited Brighton university (which if you know me well, you will be aware that I have wanted to live in Brighton since I was young) and I hated it. The university was appalling. I was actually recommended by a student to look at a different university for the course I wished to study. The building(s) were also very difficult to navigate and didn’t make much sense at all. I was very upset to the point where I left after just an hour.

Since the visits, I have been considering my options and I’m very lucky to have other options. I can go full time at work, go to university, take on a journalism apprenticeship, take a gap year or work full time on this blog. I mean, the point is that I have lots of ideas and I love the idea of doing any of them the same amount.

I guess, the point I’m trying to make is that I have all these opportunities and I would love to do any of them but there are none in particular which really stick out and scream at me. There is nothing that I want to do more than anything else and from time to time, that bogs me down. However, I shouldn’t be bogged down by it, I’m so lucky to have all these things open to me. Some people aren’t so lucky.

What would you do?

What is the next stage in your life? Maybe, you’re in the same boat as me where you don’t know what to do with yourself after school. Maybe, you’ve just had your last GCSE exam and you’re not sure what you’re doing after summer.

No matter what you’re doing, it’s really important to enjoy it. Even if there are some days where you hate it, make the most of it. If you can make it more fun and enjoyable, you will create more happiness for yourself in the role that you end up in.

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep to put into words.

Featured

Life

Life is important. We will all live a very different life which varies in length, quality and excitement. We have no idea how long we will live for. This is a factor that I believe we cannot control indefinitely. However, we can ensure our quality of life. We can do small things like smiling on and keeping positive when times aren’t great.

Anyway, this got me thinking. How would we treat life if we were given a timer at birth? How differently would we act if we were told our death date to begin with? Would you live everyday to the fullest or would you remain in the lifestyle you’re in? I like to think that I live 90% of my days to the fullest. I mean, most of them I spend at school or work but around them, I am able to embrace life and do things that make me happy and improve my quality of life.

I want to know how you treat life? Do you think that if you were told your death date you would live any differently? do you think that you have the best quality of life that you can make? I wonder. I view life as very important and fun and I try to make as much fun out of it as I possibly can. Sometimes I have those dark days (which are okay) and other days I feel like relaxing (again, okay) but outside of those days, I live life to the fullest. I am healthy, I enjoy it and most importantly, I have fun.

Put it this way: if you had 60 seconds to live? what memories would pass you by? Could you fill those 60 seconds? Would you have to pick the most special ones? Or, do you not have enough to fill that time? No matter what your answer is, would you be proud to see what passes by? If your answer is no, how can you improve and change that? I believe that I have enough memories to fill that space. At the end of every year, I will review my highlights. Everything that I posted on social media in the last year or every memory that I have a photo of or can remember, I repost to show myself that I am proud of what I have achieved.

I guess that what I’m trying to say is that life is important and short. Thousands of people have said it before and I want to reinforce their message. Make the most of life and when those 60 seconds come along, make sure that there is plenty for you to watch, you’d rather not have enough time to think than be staring at a blank screen for a while.

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep for words.

Featured

Anxiety – A short film.

Some of you might already know that I decided to take film studies as an A-Level back in September. I absolutely LOVE the subject. It links really well with my other two subjects and it’s really interesting. I love the films that we study and I find amazing how you can analyse the filmmaker’s intentions and spot what they are trying to do through the use of the core film elements. Anywho, I’m rambling on. Let’s get to the point:

Basically, for my coursework I have to write a screenplay for a short film (4-5) minutes and it needs to be 1600-1800 words. Easy. Now, we are told by the exam board to do 80 minutes worth of research for short films. Essentially, we need to watch short films totalling in 80 minutes. Great. We’ve watched a few and we’ve completed the research and analysed nearly all the films. We were advised to do our own research on top to help us understand the construction of short films. I decided to do a little bit of my own and I’ve come across a few that have really impacted me.

This film is called ‘Anxiety’ – it’s all about a girl who sufferes from bad anxiety (shock) and she has difficulty with doing little things (such as going out with friends.) Now the interesting thing about this film is that her anxiety is represented through another character. This character is also the girl who is suffering from anxiety but she is represented differently. The girl who is a symbol of anxiety is dressed darkly, wears dark lipstick and only ever wears one outfit. I’ve come to the conclusion that this is probably because she is meant to be some sort of ghost which only the protagonist can see.

I really like how clearly the two characters are represented. I love how it’s the same characters yet, two different personalities. It really helps to explain how difficult anxiety can be for someone and how we are able to deal with it. How, eventually we can just get up and tell our anxiety to do one. It has a positive ending and tells the audience that it’s okay to be anxious and we are able to get through it at some part. No matter how difficult it can get.

I believe that I relate really well with this character. Sometimes I really suffer with my anxiety and others I can put my fists up and fight. The point is that, no matter how you’re feeling, you can get through it and this film helps to show that.

If you wish to watch it and see what I’m talking about, I’ve embedded it below:

Please note that I don’t own this film. All credits go to the creator ‘Michael Smigel’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRqR4mOC4gc

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep to put into words.

Featured

Happy Birthday!

As many of you might already know, It was my birthday on Friday and I turned 17. Most of the time, my birthday isn’t much of a big deal. I don’t like making it a big deal because I don’t really see why people should treat me differently on one day when they could be nice everyday but I understand why. Anyway, People made a bigger deal out of it than they usually do this year and it was kind of nice. I didn’t do much with my family but that was completely understandable. We don’t do much. However, lots of my friends, people I know from school and work we very kind about it. Lots of them wished me a happy birthday and I guess it made me feel somewhat appreciated. It was nice.

So, to you all, I’d like to say thank you. Any of you who were so kind to wish me a happy birthday, thank you. You’re all so kind and are very good at making me feel special.

Many people would suggest that a birthday is a day where people celebrate the date of someone’s birth and their ability to have made it this far in life (if you like). However, some people see it differently. I mean, I see it partly of the suggested definition but I also see it as a reason to celebrate a person themselves. I mean, there is one day out of 365 where you are allowed to be a little bit selfish and they day s a bout you. It is your own holiday if you like. I know that I said I don’t see why you should be nice to someone for just one day but there are arguments for and against. However you choose to celebrate is entirely up to you. Maybe you don’t celebrate. Either way, happy birthday and have a great day no matter what it is that you do!

Specifically, I’d like to say a huge thank you to (again) my girlfriend and best friend. You both got me some awesome prezzies and did something that is hard to do with me; make me feel special. I feel really loved and appreciated when a person is able to do that because it shows that they have put effort into knowing you as a person instead of being someone in the crowd. – La La Land reference for you there 😉

Anyway, If one of your friends or family members has a birthday coming up soon, be sure to make them feel special. It’s great for their mental health – trust me!

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep to put into words.

Featured

I, Louie Salmon

Haha, if you’ve seen the film, you’ll understand what I did there. If not, don’t worry I’m going to explain.

So, I am an A-Level media studies student and I’ve been studying the media for the last 3 or so years but only recently at A-Level. Anyway, most recently we have been studying about the affects of advertising on the audience and we were comparing the way that the film “I, Daniel Blake” was advertised to other films. It was really interesting but also very sad. The posters for I, Daniel Blake were very depressing where all the others were quite uplifting. The colour scheme of the posters were clearly showing how depressing the working system is in the UK. Anyway, the film is all about a man who suffered from a heart attack which means he is now unfit for work. However, the department of workplace have deemed him fit and requested that he goes out and looks for work. In the end, it overwhelms him so much eventually causing him another heart attack. This one kills him.

Its is a very sad film which has a horrible ending but it shows how the system in this country is so corrupt that it is literally killing people. It’s so sad in the sense that a lovely, man like Daniel was killed as a result of working too hard. During the film, we go through life with Daniel. We learn how difficult it gets for him and how he is desperate to go to work but his heart condition is holding him back. We learn that the dept of workplace don’t accept this and request for him to commit 35 hours a week looking for work. They also freeze his payments.

As we follow the story of Daniel, the audience is forced to side with him. At least, this is usually what the director intends. However, the audience are given a choice here and most of the time they decide to side with Daniel due to the fact that they are aware of the injustice in this system. It really is heart warming to know how many people stand in solidarity with Daniels character.

When the film was being promoted and released, it started off very small. In fact the production company were very small and the budget for the film reflected this. The budget was just £3.5 million but the film made $12.45 million worldwide despite the film being made not-for-profit. The film was made purely to raise awareness to those who don’t understand what is going on behind the scenes.

Original, it was aimed at a niche audience because there are not many people in this country who are able to relate to his story. However, the film became very popular and helped to raise awareness to those who really didn’t understand what was going on. This was great for those who are suffering just like Daniel.

Anyway, I’m blabbering on a little. The point that I’m attempting to make is that there is too much injustice in this country and there need to be more people in this country that need to sort that out. There shouldn’t have to be more stories like Daniels but unfortunately statistically 90 pass away in the first week after being told that they are fit to work. This needs to decrease. Dramatically.

#iamdanelblake #wearealldanielblake

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep to put into words.

Featured

1,000 Blog Views

Hello,

Roughly a week ago, the blog hit its first milestone. We hit 1,000 views. For me, this was insane. When I set out to create this blog, I had no intention to make money off of it or for it to be popular. All I wanted was to get my message out there about how important life is. Now, this may seem like this isn’t the point of the blog but trust me… I’m getting there. I’m just… testing the waters shall we say.

Anyway, I will be doing a proper post tonight, this was just a quick message to say thank you so much to all of you who have followed or even viewed the blog. It means a lot to me. Please continue to share around and view. The more popular the blog becomes, the more people my message about life will reach.

Thank in advance,

Louie

Yugen – An emotional response about the world too deep for words.

Are you okay?

“Are you okay?”

“Not really.”

*No reply*


“Are you okay”

“Not really.”

“Well i’m here if you wanna talk.”

“I would love to actually”

*No reply*


“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Great, now let’s talk about that really stressful thing that you hate talking about.”

Brilliant.


These are real conversations (If you’re can call them that) that I’ve had with people in the last year and believe me when I say that they’re not the nicest positions to be in. It’s horrible if I’m perfectly honest with you. It can sometimes feel like you aren’t worth someones time which can feel dreadful. But you have to remain strong and push on. Sometimes you can’t and that’s okay. Sometimes you have to reach out for support but you discover that there’s a 3 hour waiting period to speak to the only person who’s volunteering that night. It’s reasons like these that people begin to feel like shit about themselves.

I was reading something on FaceBook recently and it asked why when someone has broken their leg, we all go to sign the cast but when someone becomes depressed, we all turn away and pretend not to see? I understand that sometimes it’s not that simple but nine times out of ten, that’s how it feels. It’s amazing how people react when you mention mental health. It’s not the 20th century anymore, we’re not crazy, just need a little help.

I can’t stress how important it is to check up on those who have meaning in your life. The words: ‘Are you okay?’ are so meaningful yet so overlooked (as above). If you’re not sure about someone’s response then prompt them to say more. Expand on their comment. make conversation and make them feel valued. If they don’t wish to speak straight away, talk about something else and then maybe they’ll open up.

Now, that’s advice for the concerned friend. Now, for the concerning friend, you’ve gotta meet them halfway. You can’t expect someone to read your feelings like they’ve been written out in front of them. If you’re going to play hard to get then don’t expect someone to be easy with you. It’s okay to not be okay but talk to someone, it really can help.

Don’t be one of those conversations above. If it’s not a good time to talk then don’t iniciate a conversation or tell the person that’s spoken you that you’ll speak later. Just make you that you do.don’t make fake promises.

Yugen – An emotional thought about the universe which is too complex to put into words.

My weekend away

Hello reader, I hope you had a fantastic September. As you might have realised, I took September off and didn’t make any posts. I have decided that this will be a recurring event. This is because I’m a student and, for students, September is a very stressful time of year. I hope you can respect this.

So, I just spent the weekend away from home in Northampton with my friends who live in Northampton. I had an amazing time because I haven’t seen them for what feels like forever but also because I was able to experience student life to a degree.

For those of you who don’t know, after seeing the university in June, I have had my heart set and I am so excited to get going. Not only do I love the subject I am set to study (Media Studies) but I also love the city and the people.

For the sake of my mental health, I took a three-day weekend and it was the best thing I did. Although we didn’t have mental nights out or do the most exciting things in the city, we had fun doing the little things like playing overcooked 2 until 2 am (oops) and having a fantastic time in the city by going shopping and having a cute cup of coffee.

Sometimes, doing the simple things like these in life is really important. While it’s great fun to go to a theme park or go to the cinema, it’s more beneficial to go somewhere, have fun and talk. Like I’ve said before, talking is crucial to breaking the stigma surrounding mental health and once you can get it out, it feels so good.

If either of you are reading this, thanks again for the fantastic weekend. I had so so much fun and it was very good for my mental health. I’m looking forward to spending more time with you when I move in summer.

I felt like I had walked confidently away from my problems and I was able to relax without worrying about them. It was great. However, when I returned to Peterborough, those problems returned. I immediately felt stressed and lonely.

What I learnt from this experience is that I am more ready for the next stage of my life than I originally thought. I need to get away from Peterborough and move away for good. I need to start my new chapter in life and enjoy it as much as I can.

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too complex for definition

My (not so positive) experience with driving

For those of you who don’t know, I have always wanted to learn how to drive from a very young age because I was obsessed with the idea of freedom and being further away from home than ‘in town’ where I was in control. My seventeenth birthday hit back in March and I was ready to get straight on the road. I booked 30 hours of lessons with a company which let me down drastically. They were unable to pair me with an instructor so I found a different company who let me down worse.

“I was shaking and feeling sick for most of the day.”

I was finally given my first lesson on the 1st April. I met my instructor and I already had a bad feeling about it. She barely spoke and got angry at me very easily. I was with her for 2 hours on this day and I hated every minute of it. I enjoyed learning but I disliked the environment. My instructor was very basic with her instructions and was quick to complain when I got it wrong. She made me feel very anxious and uncomfortable. This was just in the first 2 hours.

After this lesson, I was already anxious for the next one. Luckily, I was on easter break so I could distract myself easily but I was shaking and feeling sick for most of the day. I met my instructor (who never once took her sunglasses off in the 6 hours of lessons I had with her)and the lesson was horrible again. I stalled a couple of times and this made her quite angry. She would tell me that I would ‘never understand at this rate’ and even went as far to discuss my lessons with other students. I discovered this through a mutual friend who told her that I ‘wasn’t the best student she ever had’. I thought this was extremely unprofessional of her.

The third lesson was by far the worst. I woke up at 6am feeling extremely anxious despite not having a lesson until 2pm. She shouted at me for stalling the car and I held back the tears the rest of the way home. I think she noticed that she had upset with me as she told me that she needed to be ‘tough’ otherwise I wouldn’t learn. While I understand that this is true, I believe the way that she did so was very unfair.

I was very anxious for my next lesson so I decided to stop learning with her. I sent her a long message apologising and thanking her for her time to which she simply replied “ok”.

I have never met someone that has made me feel so incapable and dreadful about myself in such a short amount of time. It was the worst thing I ever did in terms of my anxiety and the thought of starting to learn again is very scary for me.

I have only just been able to re-build the courage to talk about this today. However, I’ve been wanting to write about it for a significantly long time. I believe it would be unfair of me to name the company or instructor and I have the entire truth to the best of my knowledge

I’m glad to say that I have now re-gained the confidence I need and I will be back on the road early September. I have informed my new instructor of my history with my anxiety and she is willing to work with me. I’m nervous but excited.

If you’re learning to drive and you feel uncomfertable with your instructor, it’s okay to stop or switch. You need to do what’s right for you otherwise you won’t learn anything. Driving is stressful enough without worrying about who’s teaching you.

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too complex for definition.

Meet Miller

Some of you might know that I enjoy running. I enjoy it so much that I wrote about it and explained how it helped me with my mental health. Running is extremely important to me since it gives me the opportunity to be and feel free. I have even gone to the extent of signing up for the 2020 London Marathon. While I haven’t heard back yet, I’m keeping hopeful. Anyway, this post isn’t about me, it’s about my friend Kamile.

Kamile is a part of my inspiration. She is one of the kindest and purest people I have met in a while and her reasoning behind being an inspiration is because of her ability to run. Kamile suffers from Rod cone dystrophy, left hyperopia, nystagmus, hypoplastic optic nerve and gross foveal abnormality. Which means that she is partially blind. Unfortunately, it won’t get any better. In fact, it will get worse which means that over time, Kamile’s sight will deteriorate. However, this doesn’t stop her from being amazing. Kamile has a confirmed space in the 2020 London Marathon. She will be running for the Royal National Institution for the Blind (The RNIB).

What I find so amazing about Kamile’s story is he fact that she is using her illness to do good things in this world. She is raising money to help those who suffer similarly to her. She isn’t doing this for herself. She is doing it to benefit other people despite suffering herself. I think that’s extremely amazing. Take a look at what Kamile has to say:

“Ever since I was 3 years old I have struggled with my eyesight, constant doctors appointments, full days of tests and still don’t really know what’s going on. It’s been something that is difficult to deal with and have to live with. Recently I have found out that I will go blind in the near future. So, I took it upon myself to do something which I can be proud of and that is to run the London marathon by myself and raise money for the RNIB which is an amazing charity helping people like me. So if you can please donate even if it is a pound or two. Thank you”

If you can spare a pound or two, please consider donating it to Kamile’s amazing journey. She really deserves to run but won’t be able to if she can’t raise the £2,000. Please donate here:

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/fundraiser-display/showROFundraiserPage?userUrl=KamileRackauskaite&pageUrl=1

HARmony Camp

A few weeks ago, I was asked by a member of staff at school to help with supporting a 3 day summer camp at the end of July. As many of you already know, I love a new opportunity, so I decided give it a go. I had no idea what I was signing up for but it sounded like fun so I was up for it. I work heavily with NCS already which is aimed at 16-17 year olds so helping with a summer camp which is aimed at year 6’s would be different for me but I thought it would be a good kind of different and I was right!

HARmony Camp

Just before the end of summer term, I was asked to support the younger years with their summer camp and I decided to give it a go.It was a great idea and it has been able to inspire me with my directions in life.

Remember this? The first image taken for Yugen Emotion!

The camp is run by a company named ‘humanutopia’ which are a wonderful organisation where the people strive to make positive change through young people. I must admit that I learnt a lot from the camp. It was really eye-opening for me, and by that I mean that I’ve always wanted to go into teaching to work with and support young people. However, the camp made me realise that there are more ways than one to do that. While teaching is rewarding, there are things out there that I can do which have a similar impact.

The difference between this camp and NCS is a heavier focus on young people. While there are adults supervising over the three days, the camp is predominately ran by the students. a group of year 10 students entitled ‘team heroes’ would run different workshops throughout the day. This would give the younger students an insight into how their new school works, it allows them to make new friends and gets them used to the environment of their new school. NCS on the other hand, is a fantastic summer camp which gives students an opportunity to relax after their GCSE exams.


Yugen Emotion focuses heavily on mental health and emotions since that is what it revolves around heavily. However, I do enjoy writing about inspirational experiences in my life or just an experience in general. Let me know what you think.

Yugen – An emotional response about the universe too complex for definition

I’m not afraid to admit this

A little while ago, I wrote about loneliness. I focused on what it’s like to feel and be lonely and how we can push past it. I informed you that I suffer from loneliness and I feel lonely quite a lot. Unfortunately, this is still very much true.

Loneliness is more than ‘not having any friends’, loneliness can be sitting in a corner on your own by accident or on purpose but it can also be prominent when you spend your entire day surrounded by people yet you feel like a spirit that no one can see. This is what loneliness is like for me. For the last couple of days, I’ve been surrounded by about 50 other people while i’ve been assisting to run a summer camp at a local school. I have put on a brave face throughout most of it but I couldn’t help but feel like I wasn’t entirely there. When it was my turn to speak in front of the students, they all stared at me blankly. That was quite telling for me. Maybe I’m reading too much into it but there’s more.

I am a person who doesn’t have the most friends in the world and I’m glad this is the case. I would much rather have a few close friends instead of 100 ‘mates’. However, once I finished school for the year, I felt like I had no one. Please note that I haven’t dedicated this post to single someone out or moan at my friends. I’ve written this to suggest how these situations make me feel. I haven’t done an awful lot since I finished school and I promised myself that that wouldn’t be the case before summer began.

Anyway, forget that. I was speaking to someone about what I have outlined above earlier today and they told me that I need to be more selfish. I know I do. I decided to reflect on the last few times I was selfish and decided to do something because it was good for me. It just so happened that all the times I could think of all ended up in me getting hurt. That really sucks.

The problem that I have is that I base my happiness around people quite a lot. This isn’t always a bad thing but it is when you suffer from loneliness because you spend your whole day thinking about what you could be doing with people when you really need to be getting out there and doing it. Now, that sounds easy but when you combine that loneliness with depression and anxiety, it becomes slightly harder. But that’s okay. I want you all to know that it is okay to not be okay! However, it’s not okay to not talk about it. I’m not saying that you’re a bad person if you don’t speak out. I’m saying that it won’t benefit you if you bottle it up and there are people out there who want to listen to you.

“Even something stupidly simple like following someone on Instagram, petrifies me”

Sometimes, when I’m alone, I stop and think about what I’d rather be doing and the mistake that I always make is not making it happen. However, I’m sometimes too scared to reach out to those people or anyone for that matter. Making new friends makes me nervous since I always end up getting hurt. Even something stupidly simple like following someone on Instagram, petrifies me because I’m scared of their thought process of me.

What I’m trying to say is: reach out to me, please. It’s so much easier that way.

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers a response too complex to define.

The Takeover – Daisy Doyle

I’ve been asked to share this. It is a fantastic piece of literature written by one of my good friends, Daisy.

My head spinning; my thoughts intrusive, it resembles a tumble-dryer. An anxious layer of doubt in the pit of my stomach, heaviness seems to take over numerous points of my day. Flickering thoughts previously passed innocently, now sit ready to pounce like a tiger. My positive thoughts are drowned out by a deafening voice inside my head, it speaks as if it knows everything about me. I suppose it does, it seems so distant; so detached from what I know. My normal outlook on life is something I haven’t really struggled with before. The way I view myself is something I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It devours every inch of my existence, ending up back in my shell once again. Although it’s on my mind constantly I refuse to let it conquer me. I fight every day to attack the anxiety I face, I come from a long line of strong women, I understand that I must carry on this family tradition. I also know I am strong. I have made it this far and intend to make it much further no matter my psychological state.

A little note from me, I understand this feeling it can feel that you are all alone even when surrounded by loving family and friends. You shouldn’t feel bad about this. I assure you, in every way possible, you can relate to me. If you ever need a listening ear or someone to get you through I am always around the school, e-mail me or arrange for a sit down chat. It can seem daunting to speak to someone in an older year, but don’t ever be afraid to speak out.   

Pride

Wow, two posts in two days? This is unheard of for me!

Be proud of you!

#Loveislove

What I really want to know today is what people think of when I say the word ‘pride’. The rainbow flags? Parades? The LGBTQ+ community? Maybe it is one of these, or maybe it’s something far smaller than this. Maybe it’s simply being proud of yourself. No matter what it is it should be something that you’re proud of. I believe that the idea of pride isn’t just about being a part of that single community but it’s about being proud of yourself no matter what. You should be proud of yourself because you are you and there is only one you on this huge planet.

Pride is something that people have been fighting for many years for. People have been fighting for acceptance and encouragement for all these years and they finally have something. Even if this is something as an individual you don’t agree with (why? I don’t know), you should be able to use this month to feel good about yourself no matter of your sexual orientation. The reason I’m saying this is because I really am sick of people making suggestions that this community doesn’t deserve these rights and celebrations because “they aren’t special.” While I believe that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, how rude does a person need to be to dedicate their time to ensuring someone’s unhappiness. Instead of being that person; involve yourself! Be proud of who you are and who you have developed into.

Be as proud of yourself as this puppy is!

Don’t get me wrong, anyone can be proud of themselves at any time and anyone can celebrate anything at any time. However, the month of June is dedicated to the idea of a beautiful sea of flags, happiness and pride coming together and being one individual group which represents how mankind can come together and unite as one. It would be a truly astonishing moment to see everyone participate with their own type of pride. While I believe that this won’t always be possible, we can do our best to ensure that people feel happy and heard.

When was the last time you felt proud of yourself? Remember, this can be anything at all. Were you proud of something you’ve accomplished? Or proud of doing something out of your comfort zone? Maybe you were proud of yourself because you were able to get out of bed this morning. No matter what it is, it is pride. You have the right to be proud.

Even I’m not a part of the LGBTQ+ community yet I’ve spent the last hour of my life writing a post all about it because I am aware how much it means to people. I have lots of friends who would class themselves in that community and they mean a lot to me and this a small way to show my love and appreciation for them.

Be proud of who you are because you are a great person!

Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too complex for words.

Exam Stress

Hello everyone,

This one has been written by a kind co-writer applicant who wishes to talk about exam stress in this difficult period. Without further ado, enjoy!

As many of the readers of this blog are still enrolled within education. I believe this topic is a very clear and defining part of the schooling system which is heavily glossed over for a variety of topics. I went to a variety of length stretching myself thin trying to fill a never-ending changing routine of study and free time with friends with the latter coming to the surface. This I now realise was not the best choice to do however it did manage to claim my nerves from what I dreaded.

Upon looking back on these practises I realise it may not have been so changing and not keeping a more fixed routine however I still managed to achieve despite many setbacks. The reason I hid away from revision was a fear of not being good enough like a failure without a reason some sort of shield to hide behind to give some reason to my already believed failure in my abilities to cope with any sort of pressure.

However recently I have been working through some of these issues and I have learnt to dealing with stress like the type gained from high pressure exams. I did this through ignoring it and focusing on having fun with my friends but I look back and wish I had stuck through it and maybe reached out to someone for help dealing with the stress. I believe I would have done better and learnt more if I had stuck it out and preformed more revision to achieve higher as I believe I could have learnt more than just basic academic subjects but about resilience in the face of stress and learned to tough it out and grow as an individual. However, I have also since grown this way in a different in a longer time frame than if I just stuck it out.

Sorry for the little rant. Exam stress can be dealt with in a variety of ways such as hanging out with friends, talking to them about it and supporting each other when times get tough and stick together. Other ways to combat the stress caused by exams are taking regular breaks and taking time out for yourself, do something you enjoy and like for me it was drawing, playing some games and writing many stories. These features made me feel better during the exam season however the way I preformed these tactics was incorrect and it made me feel useless and already a failure. We are people at the end of the day this I realised. We aren’t prefect we have our flaws, our downfalls and our trouble yet most people like to pretend it a singular issue one we alone must face but like those cheesy lines in movies and TV shows.

We aren’t alone at the end of the day, we can be with people we love and who love us all the same. Those who will support us and help us when we need and ask for it such as teachers, parents and each other. Exams help to realise a network between people. After my exams, I realised this I learnt that it’s better to help build this support network it was a belief that has come in useful I rebuilt ties with old friends I had fallen out with and it has made me happier than I thought it would it gave me more support and they were very helpful.

My advice is the age-old sounding like it won’t help is don’t stress. You have the ability to succeed if you try, you study hard and take breaks else you may burn out. If you don’t think anyone believes in you I shall because you can I know you have the ability to succeed but this is not a reason to slack off or not do any revision. This will hopeful give you the motivation to try to get all your revision done and take one of the best breaks in your life.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk