“Are you okay?”
“Are you okay”
“Well i’m here if you wanna talk.”
“I would love to actually”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Great, now let’s talk about that really stressful thing that you hate talking about.”
These are real conversations (If you’re can call them that) that I’ve had with people in the last year and believe me when I say that they’re not the nicest positions to be in. It’s horrible if I’m perfectly honest with you. It can sometimes feel like you aren’t worth someones time which can feel dreadful. But you have to remain strong and push on. Sometimes you can’t and that’s okay. Sometimes you have to reach out for support but you discover that there’s a 3 hour waiting period to speak to the only person who’s volunteering that night. It’s reasons like these that people begin to feel like shit about themselves.
I was reading something on FaceBook recently and it asked why when someone has broken their leg, we all go to sign the cast but when someone becomes depressed, we all turn away and pretend not to see? I understand that sometimes it’s not that simple but nine times out of ten, that’s how it feels. It’s amazing how people react when you mention mental health. It’s not the 20th century anymore, we’re not crazy, just need a little help.
I can’t stress how important it is to check up on those who have meaning in your life. The words: ‘Are you okay?’ are so meaningful yet so overlooked (as above). If you’re not sure about someone’s response then prompt them to say more. Expand on their comment. make conversation and make them feel valued. If they don’t wish to speak straight away, talk about something else and then maybe they’ll open up.
Now, that’s advice for the concerned friend. Now, for the concerning friend, you’ve gotta meet them halfway. You can’t expect someone to read your feelings like they’ve been written out in front of them. If you’re going to play hard to get then don’t expect someone to be easy with you. It’s okay to not be okay but talk to someone, it really can help.
Don’t be one of those conversations above. If it’s not a good time to talk then don’t iniciate a conversation or tell the person that’s spoken you that you’ll speak later. Just make you that you do.don’t make fake promises.
Yugen – An emotional thought about the universe which is too complex to put into words.