Being Lead on

Most of you will be reading the blog title and thinking that this is another post about my personal life and it’ll be a sob story about something that happened to me. To a degree, you are correct. However, there is far more to it than that.

I believe that there are many more ways than one to be lead on by a person. Most of you will be thinking of the way that a person uses another person because they are aware that said other person likes them but they don’t create a relationship from it. Again, you would be correct.

To be lead on by someone it means to encourage someone to do something by promising them something that you cannot give them. You lie to them.

My experiences

I’m not going to name anyone or give specific details (for obvious reasons) but I have suffered from many different ways of being lead on. For example, there was once a friend who was a really good friend. Now, they didn’t have many other people in their life and neither did I. We got on very well and at some points, we were inseparable. This person then moved on and happened to get many other supportive people in their life. I mean, that’s great and I was super happy for them but I missed them, deeply. It sucks but it is what it is.

There was also a time where I was interested in a relationship with someone despite having very low levels of confidence at this point in my life. I made my feelings very clear to this person and I was happy to do so. They also happened to make their feelings just as clear and they were relatively equal to what I was feeling. Obviously at this point I was very pleased but I wasn’t prepared for what was coming. I think that I was so blinded by being wanted and feeling appreciated that I didn’t realise that they were dodging me like some nasty virus. They were cancelling plans and coming up with reasons as to why they couldn’t talk to me. I eventually confronted her about it and she shattered my mood. Despite this, I was able to build myself back up and now I am in a relationship with a truly amazing girl :).

There have also been many times where some good friends have gotten into relationships and I have basically become 2nd best or below. It truly isn’t fair how people can just drop someone because someone else has come along. Oh well.

The issues with the latter

The problem is, there are lots of issues surrounding this single problem. Leading someone on for something truly is pathetic. It’s a really low thing to do and it isn’t fair on those who are affected. Think about it, someone is really looking up to you. They are somewhat idolising you and they’re investing a lot of time and emotion into making sure that you feel good about yourself and you have the heart to just let them down and make them feel like utter crap. How could you? It’s all because you can’t seem to make up your mind. Why can’t you tell someone straight? I know that there are times where we are unsure of how we feel and that is okay. However, if this is the case, then why not play it safe and tell the person you’re not interested. It might upset them for a while but they will invest less time in you and that will be very beneficial for their mental health. They will be able to know where they stand and that will feel good.

Next time you find yourself messing with a person’s emotions, thing about them, put them first.

Yugen – A strong thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep for words.

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