I was talking to someone not too long ago about what it was like to be feeling the way that I was. I hadn’t spoken to anyone about it in a while and it was nice to be able to channel it all out and talk about it. It filled me with purpose and made me feel less alone. As I sit here writing this, I realise that It’s actually really important to talk about these things because, if you end up bottling these things up, you’ll end up blowing it all back up and it will most likely be taken out on someone that you love. It’s never easy to deal with your emotions on your own and that’s why you shouldn’t.
Anyway, the ‘dark days’ are a good way of describing the sort of day someone has when they are unable to function in the same way that they regularly do. Personally, it’s very difficult for me to discover when I’m having one of these but I did discover that I have them very frequently. Basically, I am able to function, I can get up in the morning and I can go to school and I can eat and drink for what I see to be normal. But for some reason, I’ll feel really sick, really tense and really uncomfortable. I can never really tell until I feel these symptoms. But, I can tell you that it means that I won’t be myself.
I saw something on twitter not too long ago which spoke highly about those suffering poor mental health. It was telling people that we can be flaky and we can get angry but, we’re trying. There is not much more that we can do for you or ourselves. Counselling and therapy services are not cheap and there is not much that you can claim for on the NHS. You will only be given a few sessions and once those sessions are over, you fall into a hopeless whirlwind of reliance on the sessions. You end up convincing yourself that you can’t cope without them. Once you discover that the sessions are over and you’re on your own, you have to find a way to survive.
Your dark days are most likely different to mine. There is a small chance that you’ll have the same symptoms. However you might be feeling, just know that there is always a way out. It’s OK to have a dark day here and there. You can try and push through it or you can wait it out. It’s up to you how you play it. Just know that there is always someone by your side. You will always be able to get through it and there is always a way for you to have a better day tomorrow. Take it as a learning curve.
You’re doing great!
Yugen – A thought about the universe which triggers an emotional response too deep to put into words.