Happiness is something that a lot of people think that they lack. In fact, the people who think this way often haven’t discovered what it is that actually makes them happy. Trying new things is a fantastic way to find out what really makes you smile.
My experiences with happiness
A few years ago, when I went through my “first heartbreak“, I discovered that I had been relying on my girlfriend to make me happy. She made me so happy and she was the girl I wanted to be with indefinitely. Unfortunately, I knew this wasn’t going to happen but I wanted to make the relationship last as long as possible and make it feel incredible. I was able to do this but it came to a massive shock to me when the relationship ended because I thought that things were going so well but clearly not.
When this occurred, I felt so low for a very long time. In fact, I had managed to convince myself that I was not allowed to be happy because of my past. Despite me being seen to be a lovely person who wants to help everyone, I couldn’t help but feel like I had done so much wrong in the world. Over the next 18 months of my life, I was stuck in a slump where I was told that I was a horrible person nearly every day of my life.
People were very good at bringing me up and then dropping me right back down to the bottom. At this point, it was other people that were stopping me from being happy. I decided that nothing made me happy anymore and I couldn’t be happy unless I was in a relationship. This had a huge impact on my social life for a very long time. Even today, there are moments where I feel awful and don’t want to be happy or feel as if I’m not allowed.
Discovering what makes you happy
Think back to the last time you had that huge grin on your face. You know, the one that made your cheekbones ache, but was totally worth it. Anyway, I want you to capture that moment, relive it and think about how you were feeling at that exact moment. Now question how you are going to have more moments like that. Try and re-create it by inviting the same people to do something with you or watch the show that made you smile. Perhaps you can find the account that posted that photo that made you grin. Try and stretch your smile by investing more happiness into it.
There are lots of things to try. Here are a few cliche ones:
- Spending time with friends/family
and here are some fewer cliche ones:
- Scrolling through satisfying Instagram pages
- Laying in bed and binge-watching Sherlock on Netflix
- Eating as much food as you please
- Watch films in the dark – movie marathon
Anything that makes you happy, no matter how weird or wonderful, is something to be proud of.
The happy memories
If you lack in happiness, find those moments where you have been more happy than normal and attempt to treasure them. This could seem very cliche but trust me – it really helps. The more memories you can treasure, the more you can discover what makes you happy.
These memories allow you work out what it is that makes you feel so incredible. You could notice that there might be a certain ingredient in every memory which makes you realise the one thing that allows you to feel amazing. The more memories you have, the more likely you are to discover what this ingredient is.
You can do it!
Yugen – An emotional response about the world too deep for words.