Losing a “Friend”

Sometimes people come into our lives and we create these amazing bonds with people who we instantly class as friends or even a best friend. But have you ever noticed that sometimes these people change for the worse? Maybe they become bossy or controlling, perhaps they stop caring, or the two of you fell out. And it’s then that we start to hurt. These people who have meant so much to us have turned into someone completely different and we’re left wondering why.

How to accept the change

It’s always difficult to come to terms with why someone doesn’t want to associate with you anymore. But the main thing to remember is that there are always better people around you. Genuine people (yes I know the word genuine is ambiguous for this generation but there are genuine people out there.) If you have a large social circle then as previously mentioned in the “Your Social Circle” post, your other friends are there to help you through the change, and you never know you might find a stronger connection to one of them than you had with the friend who you lost.

You can also take this change to focus on yourself. If you lost a friend due to an argument you can use this time to reflect on what happened. If you said or did something that caused the disagreement then think about how you can fix what happened, a simple apology may do this but sometimes when an apology isn’t enough we sometimes have to make slight changes to who we are. Nothing drastic, just maybe a slight alteration to how we talk to other people or find a way to not lose our tempers with people.

How to ease the hurting

so you’ve accepted what happened but your ex-friend is posting all over social media the parties they’re going to or the time they’re spending with other friends and it still hurts. I’m going to let you in on a little secret.

You can do whatever you have to do to help yourself.

If you have to block them, block them. If you have to take a break from social media, take as you need. No one is going to shame you for looking after yourself because that is exactly what you have to do.

A friend of mine once told me that no matter what the situation is you have to put yourself first in times of struggle. You have to get yourself through it. Surround yourself with the people who care, be that other friend or even your family. Treat yourself to some self-care.

You will be able to move on from the friends that you lose. It will take time but you’ll be so caught up in making new memories that you’ll forget that it’s not them you’re making them with.

But remember this. Don’t let go of the good memories you had with the ex-friend. They’re important to who you are. The memories you have built the person who is reading this and no matter what I think you’re incredible.


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