Hello again; today I will be talking about something that has a lot of meaning to me as a person. I am quite a closed person. This means that I don’t like sharing the things that are personal to me. You may think that this is normal because no one enjoys sharing their personal life but, I find it very difficult to share the smallest things about my life because of the way I fed society works.
My Big Secret
Not long ago, I told someone that I dearly trusted my biggest secret. This was a mistake. Despite this person being very far away from me, it still hurt when I had found out that they decided to tell someone else. It may have only been one person but it was like someone had just shattered my soul. This may seem like a hyperbole but my secret is a lot to me. It’s who I am as a person and I become very defensive when it’s mentioned, even if they don’t know it.
I am a very selective person and I only talk to people about these things that I trust dearly. So, having that person literally shatter that trust really hurt. I believe that the worst part was the fact that they weren’t even willing to fix it. I got a 2 line ‘apology’ which upset me even more. I was disappointed to say the least. It made me realise that I couldn’t and wouldn’t trust that person again because they aren’t worth my time.
So, why do we keep secrets?
The real reason: to protect ourselves and to keep the peace. We do this because it’s often a better idea for the other person if you sneak in a little white lie rather than telling someone the truth and throwing up all of your secrets.
Protecting ourselves is also key. We often believe that if we keep ourselves to ourselves it will help the situation. Unfortunately, this is basically us hiding ourselves away because we don’t want to hurt or upset someone else. It’s unfortunate that we do this because study has shown that if we keep things bottled up, we end up blurting them out on someone that we care about.
Secrets are important because they define our identity. When we keep ourselves to ourselves, we allow all of our feelings to flood in and we often overflow ourselves with problems. So when we don’t talk, we make the problem worse.
Secrets as teenagers
Your teenage years are basically the most important of your life. In them, you learn how your body develops and how your mind works. It’s so important that you really analyse how you are thinking during this time. It’s crucial for you to know how your mind works because you will be able to discover how to deal with your personal life and secrets later on in life. Being able to manage your personal life later on will really help you to improve your mental health. This will be great for when you get to a point where you worry that you may not be able to cope because you have been able to work out how your mind works in the past.
Yugen – An emotional response about the universe too deep for words.